our monthiversary

today is my boyfriend and i's monthiversary...one of, actually because we make a little fuss about it every month. no biggie, we don't go out to dinner or anything of that sort every month but we always remember this day every month and we just reiterate our love.
anyway, i'm still on holiday and i miss him terribly and the phone calls have reduced, but its not so bad. we get in touch by sms and sometimes facebook.

his mum is enroute home and we had a few more phone conversations before she left, however i didn't get to see her. i really did intend to go visit her but it just didn't happen as she kept popping out of town and days when she was around, it was either she was really occupied or i was in no shape to go out. long story cut short: i din't get to see her.

today's monthiversary is what i'll dub "the worst one ever" for so many reasons. first of all, we are afar off from one another (i must have overstated this point already). then again, i upset my boyfriend over the weekend by not showing adequate concern and affection (totally inexcusable, so i can really understand why he got mad at me); and its not like he's mad at me, mad at me because we've talked it through and it has subsided, but he's only human so i can understand if he can't instantly switch from disapointed to all lovey-dovey. a third reason is that i'm having doubts about our relationship and i'm not sure if he's happy being with me. i should have phrased my last statement better but i guess the 'raw raw' should be said.i'll talk about the fight later and reasons why i'm having doubts; all the same, happy monthiversary to us.