I couldn’t wait for more blogville comments before I told MJ. I knew that whatever was gonna happen, he was designed to be a big part of it. I was such a chicken and so I couldn’t tell him directly so I asked him to read the blog. He called back shortly afterwards and asked that we meet up.
We met up and had a chat on Friday night and like I rightly guessed, he was opting for staying together and getting hitched. That really blended (into puree) what was left of my broken heart because it meant that he was only willing to work at ‘us’ cos of the kid and not otherwise.
Anyways we decided I take a blood test to verify and we did that yesterday. MJ was very supportive and he was there for me in ways I’d never observed through out our 2 years of being together. He wiped my tears and listened to me intently without once using the words ‘chill’ or ‘pump your brakes’ (his favourite words when I’m throwing a tantrum). God bless u in a million folds and be there for u always MJ.
We thought of how to break the news to our families, everyone’s reactions, quick wedding. He thought about his dad being ecstatic, I thought about Mrs Jones and what she’d think of me. He thought about baby-clothes shopping in America, I thought about going to Vegas, getting married & then coming back to tell everyone. He thought about finances, I thought about returning the Brazilian hair I bought during the week. He thought about us going away for a week so that we could mend, I thought about seeing a shrink with both our families. He was sure it was gonna be a boy, I was worried about getting blood poisoning cos I don’t have Rhesus D. He was up all night reading about pregnancy on the internet, I was up all night thinking and crying my brains away.
The blood test result came out negative and I was relieved but not happy… I don’t know why. We decided I take another one elsewhere just to be sure. I got home and peed on 2 more sticks (and they were both negative)...then I cried like a baby but more importantly I slept like one.
There must be a medical or psychological explanation to why a gazillion sticks came out positive but I really don’t care now that all is well.
I’m still seriously looking out for what lessons we were both meant to learn from this. I was only reminded of how wonderful a man MJ is and how lucky his wife would be.
Now I can go back to my grieving and look forward to my mending.
Thank God that all is well…and you know what they say… ‘good is all good’…but I miss me some good ol’ MJ.