All’s well…and good is all good.

I couldn’t wait for more blogville comments before I told MJ. I knew that whatever was gonna happen, he was designed to be a big part of it. I was such a chicken and so I couldn’t tell him directly so I asked him to read the blog. He called back shortly afterwards and asked that we meet up.
We met up and had a chat on Friday night and like I rightly guessed, he was opting for staying together and getting hitched. That really blended (into puree) what was left of my broken heart because it meant that he was only willing to work at ‘us’ cos of the kid and not otherwise.
Anyways we decided I take a blood test to verify and we did that yesterday. MJ was very supportive and he was there for me in ways I’d never observed through out our 2 years of being together. He wiped my tears and listened to me intently without once using the words ‘chill’ or ‘pump your brakes’ (his favourite words when I’m throwing a tantrum). God bless u in a million folds and be there for u always MJ.
We thought of how to break the news to our families, everyone’s reactions, quick wedding. He thought about his dad being ecstatic, I thought about Mrs Jones and what she’d think of me. He thought about baby-clothes shopping in America, I thought about going to Vegas, getting married & then coming back to tell everyone. He thought about finances, I thought about returning the Brazilian hair I bought during the week. He thought about us going away for a week so that we could mend, I thought about seeing a shrink with both our families. He was sure it was gonna be a boy, I was worried about getting blood poisoning cos I don’t have Rhesus D. He was up all night reading about pregnancy on the internet, I was up all night thinking and crying my brains away.
The blood test result came out negative and I was relieved but not happy… I don’t know why. We decided I take another one elsewhere just to be sure. I got home and peed on 2 more sticks (and they were both negative)...then I cried like a baby but more importantly I slept like one.
There must be a medical or psychological explanation to why a gazillion sticks came out positive but I really don’t care now that all is well.
I’m still seriously looking out for what lessons we were both meant to learn from this. I was only reminded of how wonderful a man MJ is and how lucky his wife would be.
Now I can go back to my grieving and look forward to my mending.
Thank God that all is well…and you know what they say… ‘good is all good’…but I miss me some good ol’ MJ.

K.O & K.U

K.O:
oh well, i'm once again no longer in d running to becoming Mrs. Jones.
i really didnt want to blog about it this time, i just intended to grieve and then mend no matter how long it takes.
MJ said the relationship was not heading in the right direction and there's not much else a person can say to that, is there? so basically, i've lost this fight...i've been knocked out.

K.U:
this is the scary part and i thank God for anonymous blogging. i dont even know how to break this to MJ, or if ever i should. i peed on a stick last nyt and i saw 2 lines...in simple words...i'm preggers. i peed on 3 more sticks at 3 different times before dawn and they all said the same thing.
how could i be so careless right??? now that i realise i'm on my own in this world, i'm asking myself that question over and over again. i was on d dang pill and i was very religious with it. i didnt miss a single day and i had an alarm set so i wouldnt miss the time either. i've been on d pill for over a year now and i trusted it a 100% even though i knew there was a 2% chance dat it'll fail. even with d pill, i tried to make sure MJ and i got it on during my safe period.

i dont know what to do right now. i'm so confused cos i havent missed a period hence i didnt suspect anything. oh well, i took a test a month ago as a pre-req for something and the doctors said the result was inconlusive and asked if i used contraceptive pills. when i said yes, it seemed to mean something to them and they said i was fine, that the pills made d result look so. i decided to see my gynae to confirm but then my period came on time and it was as regular as ever so i felt there was no cause for alarm.
for some reason, i peed on the sticks last nyt...not cos i thot i was pregnant but just to be sure i wasnt carrying baggage as MJ and i only broke up 2 days ago. so basically, i'm knocked up.

i dont know how pregnant i am, i dont know what to do, who to call...i'm just going thru all this madness alone. i'm so scared to tell MJ cos i suspect he'll want to be responsible and ask that we get back or even get hitched...and that's totally the opposite of what he wants ryt now. i somehow think he may have found someone else and i dont want to mess that up for him. i dont wanna be one of those people that trap a man with a baby. btw, if he thinks d relationship is all wrong and not working, how is a baby supposed to help the situation???
i know for a fact that i dont want to be a single mum. i also know that i would die of guilt if i got rid of it...that would cause me so much emotional pain for the rest of my life and many inner demons. i would have too many secrets and should i find someone else, i would never be able to bring myself to tell him. i would be living a lie and dying inside.

i never thot this would happen to me. my life is so over ryt now.